2.12.17

We don't like to admit it
But at least for me, I've come to realize
People are expandable
Some are harder to replace
But most - a lot easier to let go of then we believe so

Doesn't make the relationship any less meaningful or less impactful or deep
Seasons come and seasons go
Just like people and the relationships they shared with you
Sometimes we get to revisit certain memories with new faces
Or venture into new territories with familiar souls
Either ways
No point holding on to something that's ran its course until it's time for its return
Or maybe some things or some people don't get a revisit
And that's ok
That's why
No matter how beautiful or tragic a moment is, it's significance betrays you with the passage of time
Everything moves on
Life itself
Time itself
There's no point holding on to anything
anything at all
Anything worth keeping needs renewing
Anything worth remembering deserves to be remembered the way it was
untainted without you holding on too dearly to it

-

And soon all these people and all these relationships of 2017
I wonder how relevant they'll be 12 months from now
How much would we have allowed ourselves to grow by letting go of what was
what should have been and what could have been
What should continue being and what must be
Because though some choices are up to us to make
we tend to prioritize familiarity over risk

And i don't want to live in a nostalgia of a future that should be
trapped in the present moment of all i aspire for myself
instead of living
letting go
and discovering

instead, being stuck in a loop of rediscovery upon rediscovery
upon rediscovery.
it gets sickening after a while
to lead yourself into thinking you're growing
when you've only grown as much as you have fallen behind.
What kind of a life is that

hypocrisy is the most successful deception
i only pray these words become more than sentiments lost in times of future's past present

its an interesting phase that im going through right now

perhaps the reason why we so strongly dislike letting go is because
to let go is to denounce its relevance in our lives
and to denounce its relevance is to admit its insignificance
what does that mean than?
that nothing mattered?
how foolish we are
that because it once mattered
it has to continue to matter
or that because it shouldn't matter now
that it never mattered
if only life were as simple as a choice between zero and one
and humanity and all its workings
quantifiable as one option or another
but perhaps our greatest curse
is to live with the ambiguity of lying to ourselves about the absolutes of humanity and all its workings
at least for me thats what it feels like sometimes
but one cant compute everything
and one cant make sense of everything
and thats just how it is